Barack Obama: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change and I will lower the tax on 95% of crossing chickens.
Joe Biden: Who cares. The chicken's a brain dead, incompetent, draft dodging, egg layer! It's gonna test Obama to see if he's ready to lead.
John McCain: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side. As your president, I will do that too, me and Joe the Plumber.
Sarah Palin: From where I live I can see the chicken crossing the road.
George W. Bush: The point is not why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either on our side or not on our side. There is no middle ground here.
Dick Cheney: Where's my gun?
Hillary Clinton: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from 'Day One' that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of "cross the road?"
Al Gore: I invented the chicken.
(Ed. Note: More answers next week.)
