(Thanks Harry)
Q.
Where will the government get this money?
A. From, uh, the taxpayers.
***
Q.
So the government is giving me back my own
money?
A.
No, uh, only a smidgen.
***
Q.
What is the purpose of this payment?
A.
The plan is that you will use the, uh, money
to purchase a, uh, high-definition, uh, TV
Set, thus, uh,
stimulating the economy.
***
Q.
But isn't that stimulating the economies of
China and Japan?
A.
The president has, uh, been quite clear on,
uh, on this. Uh, next question.
***
How your stimulus check
will help the US economy:
- If
you spend that money at Wal-Mart, the
money will go to China.
- If
you spend it on gasoline it will go
to the Arabs.
- If
you purchase a computer it will go to
India.
- If
you purchase fruit and vegetables it
will go to Mexico, Honduras, and
Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
- If
you buy a car it will go to Japan.
- If
you purchase useless crap it will go
to Taiwan.
Instead, you can
keep the money in America by spending it at
yard sales, going to a baseball game, getting
a tattoo, or spending it on prostitutes,
domestic beer and wine. Those are about the
only American businesses still operating in
the US!! (Well, not Budweiser)