Coffee Shop Weekly

FROM the COFFEE SHOPS to the BARSTOOLS

What the Real People are Saying

Warning! Not Politically Correct Because We Don’t Have To Be

August 30, 2004

CSW 30

The Coffee Shop is Open

And the people say…………….

If whining is good for the soul, we should have a healthy bunch of democrats

(Or, Why's everbody always pickin on me?)

Fact is Kerry has been whining since January that Bush will run a smear campaign. So, to make good on his self prophecy, anytime Bush or the Republicans say anything, Kerry's camp cries foul and charges dirty pool. You can't even bring up how he voted in the senate without it being called negative campaigning. Childish whining. Not becoming of a presidential hopeful. A true STUP. Here are some of the hypocritical whines.

 

  • The whine: “Fox news isn’t fair and balanced.”
    •

    To which we say: "Do you remember NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, Public TV, NPR, and some stupid satellite radio station, etc. etc. etc.? We do. We’ve heard it all before."

     

  • The whine: “Donald Rumsfeld should resign.”
    •

    To which we say: “Wrong again, defense breath.”

     

  • The whine: "Those swift boat ads are lies and Bush should demand they be removed because they are hurting our feelings not to mention our poll numbers."
    •

    To which we say: “Do you remember, My name is John Kerry and I'm reporting for duty, Bush was AWOL, Bush is a killer, a traitor, a terrorist, deserter, etc. etc. etc.? We do. CSW says, "Look, you whiney wimps, if you can’t stand the heat, don’t try to be the head cook." And about that absolutely ignoramic ploy of sending Rassmann and Cleland to the ranch to beg for mercy from the President, we say, 'get lost, drop dead, see ya later, sit on it'. What stupidity."

     

  • The whine: “The Republicans say we’re stupid.”
    •

    To which we say: No comment

     

  • The whine: “People are out of work. No jobs to be had. Money's tight. The economy is going south.”
    •

    To which we say: "It can’t be all that bad with record campaign contributions to the democrats. Is your argument that your contributions are coming from the "rich"? And how about your breakfast fund-raiser at which, for a paltry $250.00, New Jersey middle class supporters got a muffin and a cup of coffee? You convinced us. Money must be tight. We know what you're thinking. 'Had the economy been better we would have charged $500 for the coffee.' Jerks! One and all!!"

     

  • The whine: “Medical costs are at record levels.”
    •

    To which we say: “Just don’t whine! Tell us how you’d fix it! Like the other issues, you just whine, no solutions. 'I will create 10M jobs.' How, ketchup breath? You're a phony, Kerry, a real phony!

     

  • The whine: “Bush sat for seven minutes while the country was under attack.”
    •

    To which we say: We think this was covered under the Michael Moore controversy. It was a consensus that Moore and Kerry would have done nothing but wet their pants. Not a pretty sight. Michael Moore doesn't need an excuse to wet his.

     

  • The whine: “Please Mr. President, take down and apologize for those swift boat ads.”
    •

    To which we say: “We must have missed the apology for Richard Serra’s “artwork” on the back cover of “The Nation” magazine showing President Bush eating a decapitated baby. You want to talk sick? Mention democrats. You guys are preverted which is far worse than perverted! That's right. I forgot. When liberal democrats smear, it's a 1st amendment right; when Republicans do or say anything, it's a smear campaign, illegal, against election laws, tied to 527s, bad for Iraq, the economy, and gays. You hypocritical dweebs. Kerry would make a good president...............not.”

     

  • The whine: “The President is trashing John Kerry’s reputation. Nothing but smears.”
    •

    To which we say: "Do you remember deserter, traitor, AWOL, terrorist, killer, cowboy, murderer, Hitler, etc. etc. etc.? We do. Do you mental giants get the idea? It goes both ways!! And a man who the democrats supported for president, Al Gore, called a sitting president, George W. Bush, a murderer, said he betrayed the people, and then Gore gave credence to moveon.org for comparing Bush to Hitler. Mr. Gore, please. We beg of you. Go back on your medication. There is something wrong with you, sir. You're ill. Very, very ill."

     

    Thank you ladies and gentlemen for your attention and have a good evening.

    The bar is open.

     

    Send your comments on these stories to Coffeeshopweekly@neo.rr.com