"When we
drink, we get drunk. When we get
drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall
asleep, we commit no sin. When we
commit no sin, we go to heaven. So,
let's all get drunk and go to
heaven!"
"We feel sorry
for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as
good as they're going to feel all
day. "
"When we read
about the evils of drinking, we gave
up reading."
"Sometimes
when we reflect back on all the wine
we drink we feel shame. Then we look
into the glass and think about the
illegal aliens in the vineyards and
all of their hopes and dreams. If we
didn't drink this wine, they might be
out of work and their dreams would be
shattered. Then we say, "It is
better that we drink this wine and
let their dreams come true than be
selfish and worry about our
livers."